Tonight, I taught my son how to “cheers”.
It’s been a long weekend for the both of us, and we had just settled in for a nightcap- my son with his bottle of milk, and me with my bottle of Chianti…I thought, there’s no time like the present, so I lectured my 2-year old on how one should always “salute” when having drinks and toast to something for luck. So, I offered up a drink to health and happiness, while he offered up his own toast to his new Elmo cell phone.
It got me to thinking about the lessons I’d like to instill in my son one day… I’m new at this, so I condensed that to five- lazy parenting? Maybe.
1. I’d like him to learn to have a sense of humor. Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) said it best, “If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true and that is unacceptable.” I fully believe that any humorous or interesting person has had a ridiculously embarrassing past. Growing up, I was ugly. I’d like to think I’m a solid 6 on a good day now, but I hit a rough patch for about 25 years. My father mentioned that he was actually a bit concerned for me for the better part of my youth (love that honesty, Dad). But, that awkward ‘phase’ (still ongoing…) made me who I am- it gave me a personality.
2. I hope he finds what he is passionate about in life, and is able to make a living doing it. The worst thing that could happen to him is that he finds himself in a profession he doesn’t love doing. My job is tough and by no means would I consider myself proficient. But, I work hard at it. And, at the end of most days, I’m fulfilled. It’ll never be lucrative, but I like what I do, and I like the people I work with. It’s not the easiest thing I could’ve done (the trophy wife gig didn’t work out…) but I can’t imagine doing something else.
3. I want him to know how to fight his own battles. When I was in high school I came home after practice one day and was upset that another girl was getting more playing time than I was. So, I told my dad he’d have to call my coach to “fix” this situation. My father calmly told me that if I were the best, I’d be playing, and to never expect him to call someone on my behalf. I think more parents need to tell their kids that. You need to work hard. I’m not going to call your teacher/ coach/ boss/ etc. If you want this, go do it. My dad came home exhausted from work, and when I finished my school practice he stayed an extra hour every day with me at the field because I asked him to. He instructed me that I had to work hard, but also showed me he believed that I could.
4. That this too shall pass. I hope he is able to take failure and defeat with a sense of grace and humility. I hope he realizes that he may not be good at everything- he may not even be good at most things, but that he needs to try and to take risks. I want him to be able to accept blame, not pass the buck, and grow from his experiences. I hope he never stops trying, and doesn’t listen to the naysayers. I had two very realistic parents (more on that to come), but it was refreshing hearing that I wasn’t the best at everything, and it’s helped me in my job in the long run.
5. That no one will ever love him as much as I do. I don’t care who my son ends up loving as long as they are good to him. If he is gay, I secretly hope that I will never have to pay for a designer/ interior decorator/ stylist, and if he is straight I hope that his wife knows she will never replace me. While my son learns how to sleep in his toddler bed, some of the most frustrating/ amusing moments are when he sneaks out to run and hug me. I know I should be reprimanding him, but I also know that these moments are fleeting, and I am thankful for every one of them.
What lessons do you think parents should teach their kids?
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